Give it No Further Thought
by Cielito
Summary: Teyla feels guilty for what she did to John under Lucius drug induce spell. John tries to convince her that it was not her fault. Spoilers for Conversion, The Long Goodbye and Irresistible.


1. Write the aftermath. Focus on JT but you may make it longer to include  
everyone--like Teyla talking to Carson or John to Liz or McKay. 

Title: Give it No Further Though

Author: Cielito

Pairing: John And Teyla

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Conversion, The Long Goodbye, Irresistible

Betas: Cpt. Ritter and Expandable Crewman

Request: Doxymom's challenge for Irressistible..Write the aftermath of Irresistible.

**Give It No Further Thought...**

_**A day after Lucius returned to his planet...**_

Teyla walked down the corridor when suddenly she heard her name being called from a distance.

It was John.

"Teyla! Hey, Teyla, wait up." John ran down the corridor trying to catch up to Teyla.

She slowed her pace and glanced slightly to find John right next to her breathing heavily. He almost sounded urgent.

"Is everything alright, Colonel?"

"Yeah, everything is fine. It's just that usually we have breakfast together and… Are you alright?"

"I...I am fine, Colonel."

Her voice hesitated. John picked up on it. He never missed one.

"Teyla, we are off the clock. It's John."

"Of course, J o h n. It was very considerate of Dr. Weir to allow us this time off considering our behavior the past couple of days."

"Yeah, Teyla...listen about that...you know that I don't hold you or anyone else responsible for what happened, right? I mean..."

She interrupted him. Her voice was low, almost as if she was speaking to herself and not to John.

"It should have been obvious. The manner in which his people acted, almost worshiped him. It is not something uncommon in other worlds and yet--"

Just as he figured, Teyla blamed herself for letting something that was out of her control take over her. He suspected something was wrong when she came to him and asked to stay back when the rest of the team escorted Lucius back to his planet.

He was a bit annoyed since Weir ordered him not to allow the villagers to hurt Lucius in any way. The way John saw it, he had been more than kind to let him free, but now he had to defend him? He could think of a couple of things to do to this man, one of them was not to protect him. But, he followed through with Weir's orders. Nothing happened to Lucius and surprisingly, the villagers gave him another chance.

But, he knew Teyla was still upset. He waited for her in the mess hall very early in the morning and when she didn't show up for their sparring lesson, he decided it was time to go and talk to her. So, he searched for her all over Atlantis. And was he glad he found her. He'd never seen her like this before. He had to intervene for he was convinced that this was his responsibility.

Suddenly, in the middle of the hallway, he stopped. Gently, he grabbed Teyla by the arm and looked straight into her eyes.

"Teyla, you did sense something wrong. We all did and we left. We just never thought it was anything dangerous and certainly never considered that Carson of all people would fall for it, but it's still not something you should blame yourself for."

Slowly, he let go of her arm and flashed his puppy dog eyes hoping that his words would ease her worries.

It was still early in the morning in Atlantis. Many of the officials had the day off. Somehow the drug not only induced feeling towards Lucius, but it caused them to feel extremely hyper and unable to fall asleep. Therefore, Weir ordered the majority of the crew some time off with only a limited amount of officers on duty. A good night's rest was what the doctor ordered. So, John and Teyla spoke freely aware that no spectators lurked the corridors this early in the morning.

With a slight flush on her face and some guilt in her voice, Teyla replied.

"I almost shot you. I incarcerated you. I collaborated with Lucius to control the city. Had you not had that cold, he would have controlled all of us. He was not going to stop only in Atlantis. His intentions were to conquer and rule, to-"

"Stop, Teyla!" he interrupted.

He knew Lucius intentions with Teyla and Atlantis. He shoved it to the back of his head like everything else in his life that he didn't want to think about.

With a bit of frustration in his voice, he continued.

"Teyla, don't remind me of Lucius and his devious plans. I got the picture vividly when I went back to his planet and his wives told me-" he paused as his anger crept up again making him brush his fingers through his unruly hair.

There was no need for graphic details. This was not the purpose of this conversation. And yet, he knew that no matter what he said, she would still feel guilty for what happened and what almost happened. His goal was not to change her feelings, for he knew that was impossible, but instead, help her to move on.

He gazed deep into her eyes searching for a hint of hope buried within her.

He could see a battle within her ripping her soul.

"John?"

Not yet.

John grabbed her gently by the arm and headed to a nearby transporter. As they waited for the doors to shut, John looked back at Teyla with a smile.

"Do you trust me?"

He shivered as his eyes intensely waited for her response. Her eyes penetrated through his soul just as they did when they first met in Athos.

_Your leader looks at me as if I were not there. _

_Do I?_

_No._

And she was right. How she could see through him was beyond his understanding. But, he didn't care. And he loved her for it. She knew him better than he knew himself.

So, he was not surprised when she smiled and said,

"I have always trusted you, John."

Together, they stepped out of the transporter into a section of the city that Teyla had never visited.

They walked for awhile in silence.

At one point, he flashed her a tender smile and then held her hand. He noticed that her breathing quickened and her pulse fastened. For a second, he thought maybe she was thinking of something else.

Shortly, they came upon a doorway that opened to a balcony. It was similar to the ones near the main gate room, yet smaller and secluded from the rest of the city.

Teyla let go of John's hand, walked ahead, leaned against the railing and looked beyond to the mainland far away. He watched her closely as she closed her eyes allowing the air brush her hair away from her face. He was mesmerized by her beauty. He could smell her scent mixed in with the salty sea as it caressed his face with the breeze.

John smiled knowing that he was one step closer to his goal.

He allowed her to relax. He gathered his thoughts for a moment, and finally said,

"I found this spot after I was released from the infirmary .You know after my little bug conversion! I came here to think," he chuckled, "it's funny thinking back now I remembered the first thing that popped in my mind was YOU! How I almost lost our friendship that day in the gym."

Teyla's eyes opened and quickly she turned to face him.

"John, I- ..."

"I know, Teyla. _Give it no further thought. _That statement alone brought more thoughts in my head."

He never meant to say that out loud. He could see that Teyla was confused.

"But that's another story," he let out a sigh and continued.

"Teyla, I understand what you are going through. I've been there. I knew I had an excuse, but I couldn't help shake the feeling that I betrayed you. I hurt you. I crossed a thin line that almost jeopardized our friendship."

Nervously, he put his hands on her shoulders, "I was scared of losing you, Teyla."

He let his hands gently fall off her shoulders and turned to face the ocean.

"And yet, you easily brushed it off and told me not to give it another thought," he said softly.

Pleasantly surprised by his revelation, Teyla put her head down, tightened her hands against the railing and closed her eyes letting all her guarded emotions flow free in her mind.

She never wanted to think about that moment again. She meant what she had said to John. She didn't want either one of them to give it another thought. Her world trembled that day! And she didn't know why. Worse, she didn't want to find out why she felt that way.

Yet, he spoke of it, again.

As much as it tore her inside, he opened his heart to her and she needed to do the same for him. He would not be tormented by this, not if she had anything to say about it. Finally, it was clear. During their aftermath discussion, John wanted more from her. But she had closed all her emotions and lightly, brushed him away. Something so uncharacteristic of her and yet, it was all she could do to ease his soul as well as her own.

But this was John Sheppard. He was different. He was very important to her. There was no holding back, not only to John, but to her. And so she welcomed the truth. But, it frightened her.

"I was scared too, John. I did not expect it. My heart and my devotion is for my people. I cannot open my heart to one man at the sake of risking their lives. I have vowed to protect and lead them till the day I can no longer stand on my own. This is as it should be."

She felt his eyes on her trying to break through that wall that she so faithfully guarded daily.

"Teyla, don't you deserve to be happy, to find love? Someone who will protect and devote himself to you, till the day he dies? Someone who will worship the ground that you walk upon?" he was surprised at his own words.

Staring at the ocean, she answered with a tone of melancholy,

"This is my responsibility, my life, my destiny. It is the ancestors' wish. Something they have entrusted only to me. I cannot abandon my responsibility for feelings that I may have for someone," she turned and their eyes locked, "for you! If I cannot give myself completely, then I give nothing at all," she broke contact and looked down.

Stunned and moved by her confession, John closed the gap between them as his hand gently lifted her face to gaze upon her eyes once again.

"I would never ask you to leave your people, Teyla."

Lightly, she kissed his hands and rubbed her cheek against it as she let out a long breath. Finally, she understood why she was so afraid.

"You do not have to, John. I would give my life for you without your consent. And that frightens me. It scares me."

She put her hand against his, still caressing her face and continued,

"I cannot afford to give so much of me to anyone. And yet, I find that I do it for you everyday, freely, and without any regrets. I would do it for anyone else, but the thought of losing you, of never seeing you again, of you suffering,"

Suddenly she stopped as if she had just seen the future, a vision of what could be if she and John ever became more than just friends.

Turning away from him, she gripped the railing again and faced the sea. John Sheppard had the power to see right through her when he wanted to and she could feel him pulling all that was left of her guarded feelings out into the sea.

Just as he was about to speak, she continued.

"It shakes my very soul, it haunts my dreams, and it clouds my thoughts; my reasoning."

Suddenly, she gasped as she felt his warm hands around her waist, his heavy breathing behind her ear, a tender kiss on her face. The feeling was overwhelming. His strong arms tightened against her exposed skin sent shivers all over her body. And she could hold back no longer. And so, she leaned her head against his chest.

"I would do anything just to see you alive and well, John," she finally confessed as she leaned her body completely against John. She closed her eyes and felt his hands tightened around her waist.

The smile on John's face was one of relief and satisfaction. He knew the barrier was broken. And yet, he also knew that she was not ready for this and neither was he.

John understood. Both guarded their feelings in order to place others before themselves and he knew it was not fair to her or to him.

But his heart melted as he felt a tear run down his hand; Teyla's tear.

So many thoughts ran through his mind at that very moment and his inner voice screamed out to him,

_Run away with her, go to another planet, raise a family, play football, make love every night to the woman you love. Forget about Atlantis, Caldwell, Rodney, Ronon and Weir. They can run the city without you. They have Stargate Command, now. Why? Why should you and Teyla deprive yourself of such love? This is your soul mate. This is the woman that you've loved since before you even came to this galaxy. You can't let her go?_

He pushed his thoughts aside. This was not about him. This was about her. He could deal with this later. This was Teyla. The strongest woman he's ever met. And it crushed him to see her this way.

Instinctively, he turned her around, placed his hands on her shoulders and pierced his eyes with hers silently exposing every thought, every feeling, every desire he's had for her in the last two years. Nothing was held back. As time stood still, his heart melted as her eyes flashed silent cries of her shared emotions, thoughts and desires right back into his eyes.

He was not prepared for this. This was not what he brought her here for. Not, now. Not yet. There was another matter at hand.

"Teyla, you had no control over what Lucius did to you. You did nothing wrong. I won't let you bury yourself in this. And if I have to bring you here or to the end of the galaxy to make you understand that, I will. If I have to drag Lucius in here to make you a potion to see this, I will. I would give my life for you, without thinking twice, Teyla."

Emotions ran high, adrenaline pumped fast through his veins, and he continued,

"Have you any idea how angry I was when I saw you walking through that Stargate after that son of a bitch risked your life to get him his stupid herbs," he paused, took in a deep breath, "I just wanted to shove those herbs...well, let's just say, if Ronon hadn't stopped me, who knows what I would have done!"

Angry and tense, he remembered how Teyla and the others could have been killed when Lucius sent them on the suicide mission. He recalled how he snapped at Teyla when he grabbed her bag of herbs, as he almost risked his chances of finding a way to get them back to normal and stop Lucius. He almost lost it all, almost lost Teyla.

He looked back at Teyla horrified at the thought of loosing her. He couldn't loose her. Never!

She looked into his eyes. She knew very well how he felt, for she felt the same way every time he walked through that gate. She remembered how many times she thought she had lost him for good, sending her to the verge of madness thinking that he was dead! Not even a month had passed since she thought he died on the last mission with the Wraith.

"I understand, John. I have not been immune to this myself. It happens every time I see you risk your life for others, for me."

She lifted her hand, gently caressed his face, and gazed into his deep green eyes.

Teyla smiled as she remembered how upset he was when they stepped into the gate room with bags of herbs. She was surprised that at that moment her reaction towards him was not like the others who were angry. It amazed her that even under the influence of Lucius's spell, her love for him detained her from doing anything that would hurt him. She felt confused, and struggled with the thought of either to stand next to Ronon or stop him from shooting John. But something inside her was stronger; it clouded her judgment, fighting her inner feelings.

There was no doubt in her mind, there never was. She loved John Sheppard and the thought that he felt the same for her sent soft tingling currents into every part of her body.

Unable to contain herself, she lifted her feet, and lightly placed a kiss on his lips.

Feeling her lips against his was something he never expected but happily joined as he deepened the kiss. Slowly, their lips parted and he saw a smile form on Teyla's sultry lips. Whatever this woman was doing to him, he loved it. Soon, his features softened and he came back to his old witty charming ways. As his mind flashed many possible scenarios that he could insight next, the most prominent thought stood above all else.

_If only she knew that she holds the potion that has me entranced and under her spell,_ thought John.

A silent conversation began between the two of them. They said most of what they were going to say. So, they began to express their feelings using their tactile senses. This was the woman he loved! The affirmation alone blew him right off balance causing him to press Teyla tight against his chest.

In return, she wrapped her arms around his back and inhaled his scent as she closed her eyes to feel his warm caress against her skin.

For that brief moment time stood still and all that mattered, all that existed, was simply the two of them embraced in each others arms filled with love and admiration for one another.

But reality set in as John's earpiece came to life and revealed Rodney on the other side of the radio.

"Colonel Sheppard, Colonel? Where the hell are you? You're not showing up on the scanner. Are you hiding? What are you doing?" a frustrated McKay was heard loud and clear in John's earpiece which caused Teyla to quickly step back thinking that McKay was just behind them.

But, John wasn't ready to let go just yet. He pulled her back into his arms flushing their bodies together once again. Carefully, he let out a breath but never let go of Teyla.

"Let's see, if my recollection serves me right, I believe this is my DAY OFF, McKay! What the hell are you doing spying on me, anyways?" he spoke into his earpiece with a bit of arrogance combined with his usual and charming sarcasm.

"Well, I just thought you'd like to know that I was able to retrieve Lucius's potion, so we can finally get rid of that nasty cold of yours," Rodney shot back.

A bit relieved, John replied, "Fine. I'll be there when I can! Sheppard out!"

And if Rodney replied, he wouldn't know it because he shut off his radio. Reluctantly, he slowly began to separate Teyla from his arms.

"Are you okay, now?" he looked into her eyes for an answer more than in her reply.

"Yes, I am," she smiled.

He stared deep into her eyes. He saw that she was free of her guilt towards the events with Lucius; however, traces of some new and unanswered questions lingered in her eyes.

He knew exactly what it was.

"You and I don't have to figure this out right now. We can take our time. Just know that my feelings for you are real. I don't have the answers, but I know that I care for you more than you know," he teased with a wink.

It was not the right time. Anything else would only cause anxiety for both of them. This would have to do for now. He didn't like it. He wanted to declare his love for her, wanted to lift her up in his arms and kiss her passionately and never let her go. He wanted to finally settle the bets in Atlantis on whether they would ever become a couple or not. Every muscle, every fiber, every cell in his body screamed for him to lift her up in his arms, rush her to his quarters and claim her as his and only his.

But he couldn't. Not now. Not like this. And yet, he knew they were closer to the real thing, a step forward into the next level of this relationship. More than friends, not yet lovers, committed to each other in a silent bond.

So, this would have to do for now.

Yet, he smiled as his thoughts wandered into the forbidden desires that caught him in a flash. Nothing wrong with dreaming, he thought. Dreams of sharing his bed with Teyla were not new to him. Only this time, the possibilities were high and real, a dream that someday would come true.

Suddenly, he woke from his own thoughts as Teyla smiled almost as if she saw exactly what he was thinking.

She caught him.

_Damn, the woman knows me!_ He thought.

And then, she smiled as her face flustered.

_Damn, she's beautiful and she actually loves me, probably just as much as I love her!_ John's thoughts continued.

He straightened himself, and reaffirmed his intentions one last time.

"So, as far as Lucius is concerned, don't give it another thought. That's an order, Teyla!"

He leaned into her and their eyes met. It was his turn to make the move.

His lips barely brushed hers. But the emotion behind it was clear to them both.

_This is just the beginning of things to come. The fire that burned silently is bursting in flames in both of us. We are each other's strength._

Standing so close, they felt each other's breath, and John could swear Teyla heard his heartbeat.

"Teyla, am I making myself clear?" he whispered.

"Perfectly," she whispered in return.

As their bodies separated, it was as if neither one of them wanted this to end. But, Teyla was the first to turn and leave.

Yet, John reached her arm and flushed her body against his as he passionately stared into her eyes and seductively whispered in her ear.

"One more thing, Teyla. As far as I'm concerned, you're officially taken."

He inhaled her scent and kissed her forehead, then stepped back to look at her.

John was amazed. Teyla's faced lit ten times more than usual glowing with such beauty that he just never wanted to let her go.

Consumed by her beauty, he wrapped his arms around her. John wanted to ravish her lips with his and cover her with sensual kisses.

But, since he still had the cold, he didn't kiss her on the lips, again. Instead he did the next best thing. He kissed her forehead and leaned against her in the traditional Athosian greeting while his fingers intertwined with hers.

Time stood still.

Shortly, two silhouettes walked side by side holding hands down the quiet, empty corridors on the other side of the city.

Within minutes, the doors of the transporter opened revealing another corridor now busy with people going about their duties in Atlantis. No one paid attention to the Colonel and his team member Teyla who are usually seen together in these parts of the city.

As they stepped out of the transporter and into the hallway, John began a new conversation.

"So, lunch this afternoon?

"I cannot. I promised Ronon I would go with him to the mainland. There is a ceremony in which he is to participate. He asked if I would accompany him. Dr. Beckett will be joining us in the evening," she paused, "You could join us."

"Well, I'd like to but I have a…uh… I have the evening shift. Not to mention, I have to meet with Elizabeth later on this evening," he replied with a devilish grin splattered all over his face.

"John Sheppard, what are you up to?" she stopped in the middle of the hallway as they were to part in different directions.

The look on John's face startled her for a minute. He looked around and quickly opened a door to an empty room. Before she got the chance to ask him what he is doing, he pulled her into a room shutting the door behind him. A hint of amusement crept in Teyla's eyes as she waited to see what John was up to.

He gazed into her eyes and found that he couldn't resist any longer. She truly was irresistible. He stepped closer and whisked her off her feet.

Suddenly, people in the hallway stopped as the sound of a woman's laughter was heard through the corridors. When it stopped, they went about their regular business.

Gently, John flushed her tighter into his body as he lowered her down. When their eyes met, he finally spoke,

"I love you, Teyla!" he said softly as his lips brushed hers.

"I love you too, John!" she whispered.

And then, he kissed her. A soft, tender, loving, kiss carrying a promise, a commitment, and an undoubted devotion accompanied with passion, desire, an unbending and eternal love.

John and Teyla found love.

**Later that evening...**

Weir had just finished some reports in her computer, when she heard a faint knock. John peeked in.

"John? Come in. I just finished my report. I'm sure the members of the council will love this one."

"Yeah, I titled my report, "Irresistible," he smirked.

"Yes, I did see that. I did chuckle," she teased.

"Yeah, well. You needed a good laugh and Stargate Command personnel need a job and a paycheck. So, consider it a token of my appreciation," he said as he sat on the corner of her desk.

"I thought you'd be going with the others to the mainland," she closed her computer as if hiding something from him.

"Well, I didn't want to leave you here alone with the threat of the Wraith, lingering desires and all ..." he said raising an eyebrow.

"John Sheppard, how long is this going to last?" she winced.

"Ah, don't worry, _give it no further thought_," he clears his throat, "truce?" he extended his hand in front of her while she stared into his eyes.

"No more jokes." he reaffirmed.

Weir stared him down, and John gave her those puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. I'm glad we can finally move on and put that experience behind us," she stated taking her eyes of his and straightening her desk.

He stood to leave, and continued, "Yeah, well it was fun while it lasted," he looked back at her and smiled, "Goodnight Elizabeth."

"Goodnight, John," she replied never looking back but instead reopened her laptop.

As he walked out, an officer passed by him, walked into Dr. Weir's office with a package in his hands.

John stopped and looked through the glass getting a clear view of her office from a safe distance.

He heard her thanked the officer and saw her anxiously unwrapped the package.

After she opened the package and saw the content inside, she sprung up from her seat and headed out to the control room. The officers in the control room were startled when they saw the Military Commander of Atlantis, Colonel John Sheppard, bolt out of the control room in seconds.

As he ran down the steps of the gate room, he could hear Elizabeth's angry voice from a distance,

"JOHN SHEPPARD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

John simply smiled as he disappeared into the dim lights in the corridors of Atlantis.

FIN


End file.
